Tran Pham and Caleb Bryant Miller are “primary partners” in that they are in a relationship but still continue seeing other people. They have been dating for two years when they decided to see other people and open up their relationship.The couple uses OkCupid to find other people and they find online meeting better because they have the chance to explain what they are looking for in another partner from the start, and that they are in a loving polyamorous relationship. They started doing a podcast named polychat where they tried to take down the taboo of polyamorous relationships for people in one or who consider being in one.
Tran sees one of the biggest benefits of opening up a relationship is being able to connect with other people in a more intimate level. And Caleb explains being in a relationship with only one person as keeping a beautiful bird locked in a cage and he sees polyamorous relationships as the bird coming to his window every morning to sing. Caleb says when Tran comes backs from a date he feels a rush of good feelings because he misses her so much.
The couple says that at the beginning they were feeling very awful and worried but they began to see that jealousy was actually a method for hiding other feelings and insecurities which were harder to manage. But in time they found emotional detachment to be a lovely thing and they realised forming new connections with other people was very interesting.
They say when they go on dates, they share their experiences but add that everyones limits are different in that some people may not want to know about the details. Tran says knowing about Caleb’s dates actually turns her on, for Caleb on the other hand jealousy was something he needed to work on in time.